No cute pictures of Stella today (although I will be posting some soon), and no baby updates. Today, all I bring are a few of my thoughts and reflections. For Christmas, I was given two books. One was a 365 prayer journal from my dear old mum, and the other, from my sister and brother-in-law, is called a "Christ-centered Resource for Personal Prayer." I'm not going to lie and say I've been reading them everyday. It has been my goal to do so, but I have not attained such a goal.
Today, however, only thanks to Him waking me up before my two sleepy heads, I was able to soak in Truth and gather up a few gems from my quiet morning.
"Trust Me enough to spend ample time with Me, pushing back the demands of the day." This was the first thing I read this morning. With my mind still racing and thinking about all the other things I could accomplish if I can "finish" my time with God before Stella wakes up, this was my "earth to Charley" I so very much needed. As someone who is always working on another "project" for the home - right now its giving our dinning room table a make over :) - and a mother of only one baby, a baby girl at that, my mind is always racing towards and planning for the things to come. Today, before I even got out of bed, I was on my phone looking at sweet little birthday outfits for Stella's first birthday party and dreaming of all the pretty little details and things that inspire me decorations-wise... She's only six months, y'all. :-/ "Don't fall into the trap of being constantly on the go. Many, many things people do in My Name have no value in My kingdom." Eek. my heart was full of conviction and thankfulness for these words today. I don't want my every moment to be stuck on things that have no value at the end of the day. I want my life to mean something... to count.
The other book starts with a passage of scripture everyday. Today's was Matthew 14:13-21. Its when Jesus fed over 5,000 people using only the five loaves and two fish that the disciples had. It was such a lovely reminder that no matter how little we have, if only we give it to God, he can do something beautiful with it. That includes my voice (writing, specifically this blog) even if my only readers are a handful of people, my heart, and my sweet Stella. Recently, I have been reminded of the story of Hannah in the bible. People use her quote at baby showers and births all the time. I'm sure you've heard it. You know, "For this child I have prayed..." She wanted a son so bad and she vowed to God that, once he was weaned, she would bring him to the Temple and basically give him and dedicate his life to the work of God. Umm... wow. That seems a little crazy to us now. I mean, can we just think about that for a minute. When I thought about that as I held my only child in my arms and looked into her eyes, I thought, "how"? How could she have given up the most precious gift she had ever been given? She's not the only one who was known to give up their child for the work of the Father. That's right, Mary. Her story is different because she was able to raise her precious babe beyond the time of his weaning. When I think about what she had to watch years down the road on that horrible friday we call "good", I am blown away. God chose her to be the mother that had to watch her boy be given up for the good of all mankind. Ugh. It is heartbreaking. Evil doesn't win in the end, though. Through Christ's death, life was born; true, everlasting life for trillions of people. That is the pattern I've seen in God's plans. Beauty...born of sorrow, joy from pain and life from sacrifice.
Now, I am not saying I am going to sacrifice my child's life physically. That is not my call. I have, however, been called to be a good steward of all the gifts I am given and she, ladies and gentlemen is the greatest gift Danny and I have ever been given. Yes, she is her own person and will someday make her own choices and form her own opinions, but for now, I will choose Christ for her and I will put her life in the hands of the true and Good and Perfect Father. What does that mean practically? I am still learning, but for now I've gathered that it includes lifting her up to the Father in intercession, teaching her Truth, and trying my hardest to lead by example - in how I love God, my husband, and my neighbors.
Phew! That is an intense to-do-list... glad I believe in the power of my nothingness united to his omnipotence.
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